From the time we’re young, we feel pressured to achieve perfection in school, our careers, in relationships, and our physical appearance. In our attempt to attain perfection, our attention is drawn to our flaws. We berate ourselves for falling short, and we are unable to let go of mistakes.
Our relentless inner critic robs us of the ability to experience satisfaction and happiness even when we reach a goal. Our best is never good enough. We’ve all been there, it’s not uncommon.
Our relentless inner critic robs us of the ability to experience satisfaction and happiness even when we reach a goal
Know This: You’re Not Alone!
This unattainable quest for perfection has diminished my self-esteem at times, because it didn’t allow me to accept who I am. I’m sure many of you, just like myself, have this idea of striving for perfection, that by constantly critiquing our flaws will propel us towards success. But beating ourselves up doesn’t further us to our goals, it depletes our confidence, which makes us less likely to take risks.
If we want to be happy, if we want our self-esteem to grow, we have to let go of our perfectionist tendencies.
How to be Happy in Life: Try These 5 Steps!
We need to learn that our achievements don’t equal our self-worth, and the process is equally, if not more important as the goal. Raising our self-esteem involves appreciating all we can do and honoring all that we can’t. It involves recognizing our best is good enough. As humans, we must release the need to perfect, release everything you’re not, and accept everything you are. Bathe yourself in self- love and acceptance.
1. Understand that raising your self-esteem requires a lot of patience, time and effort. Changing your views and perspective is no easy task. The ideas we have about ourselves have been with us for years, so keep an eye out for your inner critic, be mindful of black and white thinking, jumping to conclusions, and saying ‘should’ far too often.
2. Catch yourself when you have self-critical or self-defeating judgments. Practice reframing those beliefs by asking yourself: “how will this negativity serve me?” and “how can I change my mindset to grow from this instead?” Then, just be kinder to yourself, the way you would when you talk about a close friend. The way we speak to ourselves is so damn important!
3. Surround yourself with loving friends who accept you. Your company should uplift and empower you, not stunt your growth. Toxic friends and people who hold you back in life should be cut free and let go.
4. Make sure you celebrate your efforts, not only your achievements. Accept that sometimes you’ll have a success, other times you’ll fail, and neither outcome determines your self-worth. Drop the habit of comparison and invite in self-compassion. Let go of perfectionist tendencies and when you notice them, practice love and kindness. As your acceptances grows, so will your self-esteem.
5. Embrace every single experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. The more self-love you give yourself, the more you will find yourself stepping outside your comfort zones, pushing the limits and all of the boundaries. Stay up my Friends, we live in a beautiful world!